I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
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