So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
time to smoke my breakfast
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
i now understand why vodka
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
