tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
