everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
