you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
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