"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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