why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
