Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Randomize
