They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Randomize