Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
