I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
