He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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