peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Randomize