I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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