Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
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Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
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Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
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