Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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