1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
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