no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
