Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Randomize
