no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
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