I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Randomize