Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize