Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Randomize
