I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
