Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
