Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
You've changed since you got that strap on
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
