I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
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