the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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