I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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