I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize