We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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