If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
