Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
