The maid of honor just puked.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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