every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
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