and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
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