yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
