There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
