New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
