Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
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