would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Randomize
