Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
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