k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
I need to stop coming to work sober
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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