okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Randomize
