yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
