I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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