He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
