ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
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