I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
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