I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
there was a trapeze. enough said
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize
