I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
