I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Randomize
