No, you can still breathe under the balls.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Randomize
