I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Randomize
