Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Randomize
