i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Randomize
