Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize